A True Apology

     A True Apology

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          Karen and I have been friends since kindergarten. I don’t even know how we clicked – we were just so different from each. At that tender age, I suppose it doesn’t really matter. But ever since that day when we were five years old, we did everything together from doing our homework to eating ice cream.

          My little brother had died a full ten years later, and it was a huge blow for me. I was devastated, and a complete wreck. Karen was the shoulder I cried on, and she didn’t even complain when I got her shirt completely soaked with my tears. Then came high school Don’t get me wrong – it wasn’t like she had turned evil the way they show in teenage chick flicks. In fact, I am pretty sure I was the one who had completely changed.

I lost interest in my studies, I didn’t speak to anyone, which ultimately resulted in the complete collapse of my social life. Karen tried to make me get back on my feet and turn back normal, but I just pushed her away. My best friend worked hard and came to be known as popular, pretty, hilarious, and intelligent. As I walked through the hallways at school, people would stare at me, pointing and murmuring, and it started getting on my nerves.

Just like typical teenagers, the people at school would talk about how weird and stupid I was. They would always compare me with Karen, and would whisper about how they couldn’t possibly believe that Karen and I were best friends. I could just feel my blood boil, and I was annoyed. I just couldn’t take it anymore. At first, I was confused about what I was feeling. “What was this feeling that is making me feel so frustrated?” I kept asking myself. Then, I realized that I was jealous – envious of my own best friend for having a perfect life.

When Karen called me that night and said, “Hey, Lily! Do you want to go to the mall tomorrow?” I knew it was the last straw.

“What is you problem? Why do you always have to annoy me with that high, squeaky voice of yours? I just hate you!” I yelled into the phone. I immediately bit my tongue, regretting my words. I heard Karen hang up the phone with a loud BEEP!

“What is YOUR problem, Lily?” I screamed at myself internally. I plopped on my bed, thinking about my actions. What I had said to Karen was just unspeakable. Just because I was sad and depressed, it does not give me the right to lash out on everyone. Karen had been incredibly sweet and supportive in spite of me being unresponsive and mean to her.

I got up planning to go over to her house and tell her a sorry, but my pride wouldn’t let me. I sat down at my table and began writing an apology note. I stopped mid sentence and crumpled the note and threw it in the trash. This process repeated over and over again. None of my apologies seemed right. After the twenty – first unsuccessful note, I got exhausted and fell onto my bed in a restless slumber.

The next morning as I was walking through the hallways, Karen walked past me, trying to avoid my eye. “Karen! Stop,” I called out.

“What?” she said warily. “Look. I apparently have a very squeaky voice. If you hear it for a long time, you might end up getting ear damage,” she continued coldly.

“I-I am so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it,” I told her, knowing that what I said was completely true. She studied me, searching for the genuineness in my apology. Wordlessly, she strode over to me and wrapped me in her warm embrace. At that moment, I knew that everything would be alright.

A TRUE APOLOGY CAN’T BE PUT INTO WRITTEN WORDS.”

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